I want to start this story with a disclaimer. My kids can be huge brats and I am not a "perfect" mom. The idea of a perfect mom is a myth, yet for some reason we all feel that we must live up to it. And of course, that is setting us up for failure. So we just do our best. And our best is almost always good enough :-) However, there are times when you see a parent so clueless that you want to smack them on the face with a wet noodle...
A few weeks ago my entire family was sick with some sort of disgusting gastrointestinal virus. Since I was the only one that could be away from the toilet for a short time, I was elected to make a medicine/sick food run to Walmart.
I have to confess I don't like going to Walmart at the best of times, but it was close, open late, and I knew it stocked everything we needed to get through this horror.
After picking up Pedialyte, Tylenol, applesauce, crackers, etc. I dragged myself to one of the long lines. Behind me was a mom and dad with two kids that looked about the same ages as my two; four and six. The girl was the older one and seemed very relaxed and well-behaved, the boy was acting like a typical four year old. By that I mean he was acting like Imp, my four year old.
However, the four year old starting screaming "Where my toy!" over and over again, frantically looking through their overflowing basket. I looked over at the parents and smiled a sympathetic smile, for what parent has not had a screaming little child while waiting in a long line at Walmart late at night. The mom smiled back, looking completely exhausted.
I assumed the four year old's toy was in the basket and he was trying to find it, but that was not the case, for suddenly he threw himself violently on the floor, screaming shrilly enough to break glass, "Where my toy, I want my toy!". Meanwhile his sweet sister was standing there quietly, rolling her eyes at her mom, probably thinking "Why didn't my parents stop at just one kid?".
Again, I smiled at the mom and said "Believe me, I know what you are going through, I have two kids about the same age as your two. And I personally am not enjoying this long line myself..."
We chatted for a minute or so, trying to hear each other over the little boy's frantic shrieks, when I notice the father lifting the little boy up and walking him to the candy/junk shelves next to the register. He picked up a few little cars and held them up to the little boy while the little boy continued to scream, at the top of his little lungs, "I want my toy".
His mother turned to me and said "He (the dad) is going to try to get him (the boy) to accept a dollar car, but there is no way that is going to work". She was right, because not only did the little boy's screams not stop, they only increased in volume and intensity. With an glare at his wife, the father took off across the store with his little boy screaming the entire way.
I turned to the mom, relieved that the father was finally going to discipline the little brat, when she said "It looks like they are going to go get his toy. It just doesn't seem fair that every time we come to Walmart he has to have a $40 toy and his sister doesn't get anything, but we can't afford a $40 toy for him and a $30 toy for her. And she never complains, so I guess I shouldn't feel bad about it."
I think my jaw might have dropped open at this point, and I can't remember what I responded, but I do know that shortly after that exchange the father returned with his son and a huge toy. And surprise, his son had a big smile on his face. That little boy runs that family...
We spend so much time making sure our children are safe these days, but it seems that so many parents don't worry about raising moral children. That little boy might turn out fine, but I am afraid he is a "monster in the making" thanks to his parents. I want to see him at 16 when he wants his own car.
I read the blog post Why Our Parents Were Better Than Us today and it made me reflect about this Walmart trip. Have you had similar experiences with parents who don't know how to parent? If so, I would love to hear about them in the comments!
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