We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend. There was a sea of pumpkins and happy children in cute little black and orange fall costumes. Their smiling parents followed them around with cameras to capture the momentous event.
Then you had our family. We looked like we just dragged ourselves out of a trash-bag full of unsold rejects from a garage sale. That is actually not my husband in the photo, he was taking the picture. ;-)
A wise man once told me that it was true that women could do everything. But he stared in my eyes and then said "But not at the same time". This wise man was my husband.
I get emails and comments all of the time asking me how I have time to do it all. After all, I blog here,
run a small home business, am a full-time mom to two little boys (one of which I homeschool), entertain and feed a husband, feed and care for my menagerie of assorted pets, clean and run a house and tend to a large yard. Yes, I am like most women out there!
So how does she do it all you might ask... Well, please let me assure you I don't do it all, especially at the same time.
I wear plenty of hats. Some days (quite rare unfortunately) I am SuperMaid and my house is spotless. I vacuum, dust, sweep, mop, scrub, and polish. However, my blog is neglected and my kids are sitting in front of the television watching Man vs. Wild dvr repeats.
Some days I am SuperMom. I homeschool Duke while not threatening to smack Imp for biting my leg under the table, cook three amazing nutritious meals, read a dozen classic kid's books out-loud until I lose my voice, and bring the kids to the park so they can release some of that excess energy. Heck, I even organize an art project involving more than just drawing a picture with scented markers. And I am sweet all day, never raising my voice and showing incredible patience. "Oh, don't worry about spilling that fingernail polish all over the carpet. I know it was an accident. Who knew you would trip over your brother while he was using scissors to cut a hole in the wall-to-wall carpet. A hole that shows me that our padding is getting thin and needs to be replaced. Good job boys!".
However, my husband comes home from a long day at work to a messy house and I throw both boys in his arms with my last bit of energy and tell him I am exhausted and he needs to put them to bed while I nap in front of the TV.
Sometimes I am SuperWife. I put on some makeup and pants or a skirt that doesn't have elastic on the waist and pull my hair out of the ponytail or bun. I put the kids to bed early BEFORE he gets home and prepare a wonderful adult dinner (where you don't have to cut anyone's food or mop up milk) and serve it with candlelight and wine on the front porch.
However, to get the kids to bed early I had to threaten to give away their puppy and also told them no more icecream or bread for the rest of the week if they make a peep. I also threw in a few screaming fits like "What in heavens exploded in your bedroom?" and "if you hit your brother on his personal area one more time you are getting spanked" and "For goodness sake, can't you urinate in the toilet without hitting the walls on both sides?".
There are days I am SuperWorker. I plug away and get a few posts for my blog done, a few actions written, design a blog or two, catch up on all of my emails, and even read a few of my favorite blogs. Meanwhile, it is 5PM, the morning dishes are still in the sink soaking, the kids have been playing with their markers and blocks in their room for hours, the dog is sitting dejected because no one came out to play with her and my husband comes home to a sandwich he has to make himself, after he ate a sandwich for lunch he made himself with moldy bread he found in the back of the pantry.
Most days I am nothing resembling anything Super. I am like most women out there, trying to balance life and not run over the dog while backing out of the garage.
I have priorities and I try to put the kids and my husband first, but life doesn't always work out as well as I would like. My house is never really clean the way it was BC (before children). My husband and I hardly ever go out on real dates, hoping that the 18 years of amazing dating BC we had will help us make it until the kids are responsible enough to leave with a sitter.
And I also realize that I can't do it all at once, especially if I want to do it well. I have to let some things slide or I will get totally overwhelmed.
I struggled for years BC trying to figure out what I would do when I "grew-up". Suddenly I was in my mid-thirties, happily married, but no real amazing high-powered career. I felt that I had not lived up to my potential but I knew if I wanted to have kids I better start thinking about it and put the career aspirations on hold.
I had the two boys and my life totally changed. I started thinking about my obituary. Yes, there are many late nights when you have a newborn on your breast and you sit there in a daze thinking about how dead people seem very rested.
Did I want "Rita was a famous scientist who discovered a new enzyme"? Did I want "Rita was a businesswoman who made tons of money"? Did I want "Rita was the cleanest women alive and sewed her own designer clothing"? Sure, those things are nice, but I realized a simple "Rita was a loving wife, mother, sister and daughter and will be missed" would mean everything to me.
So back to my messy imperfect life. I don't do it all and I have learned to live with it.
Thanks Mom (my mother was along and offered to take this lovely family photograph), so you couldn't tell me that I had a mustache? And what is it with my boys? And why does everyone look mad in this photo except for me? If you watch Raising Hope they had an episode dedicated to that. Family photo after family photo, there was smiling Mom surrounded by a sea of unhappy family faces.
To have one family photo that would not haunt my dreams would be really nice. :-)
And why are my favorite photos always the snapshots and not the carefully composed images?
