On Friday I like to post some snapshots of my week that make me happy. Or mad. Either one really, I just want to feel some emotion when I look at them. Preferably happiness, but sometimes it is fun to look at those photos taken when you wanted to pack up both your kids and send them away permanently to France or Austin. France if you are really mad because that is pretty far, Austin if you want to visit them during the weekends. ;-)
Granny asked for a recent portrait of the boys, so we headed out to a local park with my Nifty Fifty and Piper the Puppy.
Granny is very traditional and prefers "Olan Mills"-type studio portraits with pretty smiles, perfect hair, and church outfits. So let me see what I can do.
Wow, this is the complete opposite of what Granny wants to see hanging on her fridge. I totally forgot to tell the boys to comb their hair, and those t-shirts are really sloppy looking.
And Imp's face... And Duke is not in focus. Olan Mills and creative depth-of-field don't go together.
OK, I can't change everything but I will try this again and shoot for pretty smiles and sharp-focused faces.
"Shoot" for pretty smiles. Funny, right? Just a little bit of photographer humor.
Nice smile Duke. But Imp still looks mean and now HE is out of focus.
Remind me in the future not to try to do a photoshoot of two boys who would rather be playing while holding the leash of an 80-pound puppy who is actively trying to pull me into a muddy creek.
OK, let's try this again. Just one more shot, I promise!
Nice face Imp, really nice.
I know you want to go play, but I just need to get a quick photo for Granny.
Duke, you better not poke out Imp's eye!
Piper, stop kicking mud all over me, you are going to ruin my camera. And don't drink that water, you just peed in it!
Kids, if you don't let me get one nice shot of you for Granny no video games for a year. And I really mean it this time.
Wow, "Dead-Eyed Zombie Imp with Crazy Hair" and "Droopy-Eyed Duke".
I know you are getting tired of this Imp, but I have to get just ONE nice photo.
Great, now I lost Duke too.
OK, I am sick of all of you, Piper included. Just forget it.
I just wanted one nice photo and you are both horrible brats and forget about any video games tonight and you are going to bed early and weeding the flowerbed tomorrow without getting paid for it. And I was going to make banana bread but forget about that. You are getting canned sardines and cooked spinach for dinner.
Oh wait, here is a nice bunch of grass, let me try one more time!
Sit down in front of the grass, but out about a foot or two, and don't sit on that giant fire-ant bed. Get closer. Wait, put your heads together like you love each other. That would make Granny happy.
Seriously Imp, you usually have the cutest smile and this is the best you can give me?
OK, I give up, it is hot and you both are monster kids who don't deserve a day at the park. That's it, we are going. We are heading back to the car and no slides or swings.
Oh wait, sand! I love sand shots!!!
Duke, throw some sand in the air and let me take a photo.
Maybe I should have suggested throwing it out rather than up.
Homeschooled kid apparently doesn't understand gravity...
Duke, this time throw it out so it doesn't get in your face.
I thought I was speaking English but apparently not.
Oh, here are some pretty flowering weeds, let me try one more time to get nice photo of you two together.
Seriously, can't you both stop throwing sand at each other? Only throw sand when I want to take a sand photo of you throwing sand.
I give up. Granny isn't going to get her photo of the boys today, it is obvious. I will just have to do this on a cooler day without the dog.
And with some rental kids.
Mom, look, these purple flowers are really pretty. Do you want to take my photo in front of them?
Pretty smile? Check. Focused? Check. Hair and clothing? Sweaty and dirty.
Oh well, to misquote the great words of Scarlett O'Hara:
"Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get some "Olan Mills"-inspired photos of my boys for Granny. After all... tomorrow is another day."
Have a great weekend!!!
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